Radmacher's blog

Do You Get A Choice?

Posted on December 20, 2014 at 2:45 PM

Yes.  I know I get choices.

You get all kinds of choices.  What holiday(s) you celebrate. And how. And when.  Really.  The various faith and season based celebrations can deliver themselves with all kinds of obligations.  You get to CHOOSE if you pick up those obligations. Or not.

Christmas had become a very stressful day in my household.  My husband gives gifts when he finds them or makes them. He does not enjoy begin told by a calendar or anyone else when he SHOULD deliver a gift.  It is against his nature.  Now that I know what a holiday is like sharing a home with a person whose nature is repulsed by required and imposed traditions...I made a shift.  I am celebrating my gift giving quietly.  I am opening my presents from friends when they arrive.  There isn't a shred of evidence in our home that the Christmas season is upon us. 

There IS a lighting of the eight nights of Chanukkah.  That works well.  We focus approximately 18 minutes before dark on the light we want to bring to the world and we light the candles.  We like it so much we might continue after the eight nights are through. WE choose.

At first I thought it would be difficult to give up the festooning and festivities associated with Christmas.  I learned our temporary neighbors (here for a a family medical emergency) had not one holiday decoration. VIOLA!  My collection of sweet holiday decorations found purchase in the soil of a neighbor's need.  They are happlily pressed into service and will be returned after ephinany to be stored another year.  I don't know if our home will be decorated for Christmas  next year.  We'll choose. Then.

For now, I embrace that I have a choice in how I articulate the celebrations of the season.  And I am grateful to be in a stress-free home.  Where we pave our own kinds of traditions. One. Day. At. A. Time.

xo,  mary anne radmacher

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